A new study sheds light on how society perceives men whose wives choose to keep their maiden names after marriage. The research indicates that such men are often viewed as less masculine, less powerful, and more feminine, highlighting persistent societal expectations around traditional gender roles in marriage.
Unpacking Societal Perceptions of Husbands
Recent research, including studies by Rachael Robnett of the University of Nevada, reveals a concerning trend in how men are perceived when their wives do not adopt their surname. These studies indicate that:
- Men are often described with “expressive traits” (e.g., passive, warm-hearted) rather than “instrumental traits” (e.g., logical, practical), traditionally associated with masculinity.
- They are perceived as holding less power in the relationship.
- Individuals with higher levels of hostile sexism are more likely to rate these men as having significantly less power.
This suggests that a woman’s decision regarding her surname can inadvertently lead to negative societal judgments about her husband’s masculinity and influence within the marriage.
The Enduring Influence of Traditional Gender Roles
The findings underscore the deep-seated nature of traditional gender roles in society. The perception that a man is “less masculine” if his wife retains her maiden name reflects a cultural bias that often devalues traits coded as feminine and reveres those coded as masculine. This dynamic is problematic because it implies that a man’s perceived strength or manliness is tied to his wife’s adherence to a traditional naming convention.
Men’s Own Views on Surname Changes
A survey of Men’s Health readers revealed varied, yet often traditional, perspectives on wives keeping their maiden names:
- Majority Opinion: 63.3% of respondents stated they would be upset if their wives kept their maiden names, citing desires for a unified family name and concerns about commitment.
- Reasons for Disapproval: Common sentiments included the belief that a wife keeping her name questions the relationship’s longevity, implies a desire to maintain a “single person” identity, or even challenges the husband’s masculinity.
- Reluctance to Take Wife’s Name: A significant 96.3% of Men’s Health followers indicated they would not take a woman’s last name if asked, often citing pride or ego.
However, some men expressed more progressive views, emphasizing love and commitment over name changes, or viewing the decision as solely the woman’s.
Implications for Modern Relationships
The research highlights that societal expectations surrounding marital surnames are not just about women’s choices but also about how those choices impact the perception of their male partners. It serves as a reminder that rigid gender roles can be detrimental to everyone, regardless of gender. The ongoing discussion emphasizes the need to challenge and dismantle these traditional norms to foster more equitable and understanding relationships.
Sources
- How Most Men Feel About You Keeping Your Last Name, Women’s Health.
- People Perceive Men Whose Wives Don’t Take Their Last Name As “Less Masculine” For A Whole Host Of Upsetting Reasons, Bustle.
- Women who refuse to take their husband’s surname make their partners appear ‘feminine’, finds study | The Independent, The Independent.