1. They Don’t Disregard Other People’s Feelings
Highly emotionally intelligent people show empathy toward others and seek to understand them above all. While it can be easy to be afraid of what you don’t understand or make assumptions about others, it’s better to seek to understand.
It’s quite simple really: show compassion towards others and treat them as you’d like to be treated. Don’t forget that there’s always two sides to a story, so listen to your enemies as you would your friends.
2. They Won’t Ignore Their Own Feelings
Emotional intelligence involves lots of work: you have to face your inner demons head on. When you notice a pattern of behavior that isn’t helping you move forward in life, the first step is to try to understand why you behave that way. Make sure to name your emotions: you’ll feel more grounded and in control. This step is also crucial to having empathy and understanding others.
Emotions are what makes us human, so it’s vital to show yourself compassion and acknowledge them as they come. Nothing good ever came from dismissing emotions, so sit down and give yourself some much-needed self-love and self-understanding.
3. They Don’t Play the Victim
When you work on your emotional intelligence, you gain the ability to control your emotions and stay accountable. After all, it’s easier to tame a beast that you know and understand.
Emotionally intelligent people aren’t victims of circumstances: they redirect their negative emotions into more productive thoughts. They give their emotions the time of day and take steps to recover during difficult times.
4. They Don’t Let Their Thoughts Run Wild
Your thoughts may seem like they have a mind of their own, but, in truth, you are always in control. It’s important to find a balance between introspection and action. Don’t let your emotions rule you: focus instead on what you can learn from your experience and how your perspective will change as your emotions settle. If your brain just won’t quit: meditate or get creative and bleed your thoughts on paper.
5. They Won’t Dwell on the Negative
Being emotionally intelligent requires a certain sensitivity, but being too sensitive has its downfall. People with a high EQ balance it out with a positive attitude. This allows them to keep a healthy perspective and stay grounded.
6. They Won’t Be Pushed Over
No matter how polite you are, sometimes it’s necessary to stand your ground. The difference lies in the fact that emotionally intelligent people avoid petty drama and saves their energy for positive interactions instead.
7. They Don’t Spread Gossip
Spreading gossip only ever brings harm, both for you and the subject of the rumors. Sticking to mundane subjects of conversation is much better, but it won’t help you move forward. That’s why people with EQ not only seek positive and uplifting conversations, but deep ones as well. After all, being vulnerable with the people close to you will give you a different perspective and will help you learn from the experience of others.
8. They Don’t Get Overwhelmed
If you don’t set boundaries in your relationships, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed when you meet a strong personality. That’s why emotionally intelligent individuals are vocal and firm about their wants and needs. They also are quick to voice concerns when they feel disrespected. By doing so, these people don’t let others manipulate or take advantage of them.
9. They Don’t Live for Others
Emotionally intelligent people have an innate understanding of self that can’t be shaken. They trust their talents and abilities and don’t need validation from others. While they’ll respect the opinions of their loved ones, they don’t make their decisions to please others. Instead, they follow their gut and have faith they’ll learn from every experience and get better as they go.
10. They Don’t Confuse Emotions
People with a high EQ can quickly distinguish what emotions they’re feeling and why. They have a deep understanding of their wants and needs and can express those feelings to others.
12. They Aren’t Afraid of Growth
Emotionally intelligent people challenge themselves and understand that success comes from understanding yourself and facing your personal challenges head on. They pursue emotional growth as a path towards personal fulfillment.
12. They Don’t Hide Their Mistakes
Emotional intelligence requires courage and plenty of self-confidence, but it also requires honesty. As such, emotionally intelligent people take responsibility for their mistakes, especially when they affect others around them.
Instead of giving excuses, these people will own up to their errors, apologize to their victims and do right by changing their behavior and actively gaining back the trust they lost. Emotionally intelligent people don’t expect to be forgiven, they simply try to right their wrongs and learn from their mistakes.
Like academic intelligence, emotional intelligence can be worked on. Keep a journal of how you feel, join a therapy group or take up some basic psychology courses. If you’re really struggling with the concept, consider consulting a psychologist to get an expert’s perspective on the subject.